Unless You’re Cheese
Tuesday, December 30th, 2008
You’ve heard the saying: Age isn’t important unless you’re cheese, right?
Well, that’s not entirely accurate. It’s also not important unless you’re fumbling to find your wallet, only to discover that you tossed it in the freezer seven hours ago, along with several bags of frozen vegetables.
It’s not important unless you like to remember your home address, which is mercifully recorded in bright gold letters somewhere near your front door. So, say a service worker from the appliance repair department were to phone and ask for your address, you could casually step outside and read those handy numbers right off the house without missing a beat. Who would know?
Life on the far side of fifty is certainly interesting. It’s like waking up under the control of somebody else’s brain and wondering why they’re looking for your favorite coffee mug in the wrong cabinet. Over here, you want to say. (Politely of course–it’s never good manners to ridicule a host brain.) I moved my coffee mugs to this cabinet over here well over a year ago, Genius.
And we won’t talk about the morning you hurriedly dressed, only to discover later that you’d grabbed a pair of white, unmatching sneakers. Nobody would’ve noticed, of course, until you dropped your napkin on the way out of the coffee place and gasped like you’d been run over by a city bus. There you were, retrieving the napkin, when you caught a glimpse of those two unrelated shoes. On your feet. In public.
No, age doesn’t matter unless you’re cheese, but it might matter more when your formerly orderly life suddenly turns loop-de-loopy. I’ve created a lens for you naysayers who are still futzing around with a thirty-year-old brain at the helm. Your day is coming, my friend. Consider Help! I’ve Lost my Hippocampus! a wakeup call like Paul Revere sounding the midnight alarm.
Fear not. It’s not all depressing news. This lens provides giddy glimpses of what you can expect in the years ahead. And if you happen to have strolled on ahead of me agewise, let me pause for a brief guffaw break. I love meeting people older than dirt, and I hope you’re having a ball in this embarrassing condition adventurous journey through Seniordom.
Shoot me off an email with your outrageous stories and with your permission, I’ll use them in an upcoming new module. Who knows, we could start a revolution here.
New to Squidoo? Make your own lens today!
Have you joined Tagfoot yet? Hmmm? Why not?
